Okay Friends I'm Off.... please check it out at http://christtocolombia.blogspot.com THANKS :)

A month in review?

Well it's been awhile since I updated this. I've been wrestling with a lot of stuff lately, so I didn't really want to post anything, which is kinda opposite of the point of this, but whatever. But here are a bunch of things that have happened past and present and future! haha

~At the end of may we had the Cedar point trip! It was so much fun! There was a little bit of drama, but we work with High-schoolers, so what do you expect! haha. Other than that it was a good trip, I was sun burned, but it was good.

~The Fuel explosion tour ended. I love the fuel explosion tour, but it is so much work. Last time I was in it, I was just leading my team, I wasn't helping run fuel too. I realized doing both is almost impossible. This is probably my last year leading a team for the explosion tour, if I am still helping to direct fuel. BUT my team did win :) for the 4th time haha. AND I did not cheat!

~ Kings Island was Monday/Tuesday! It was crazy! Fuel kids are crazy, but I love them. We didn't have as many girl leaders as I would have liked, which meant I was the oldest female leader. Thats okay.. BUT it just means that I had a lot more fixin' to do! Making sure everyone had everything, fixing drama and issues. It was good, but still I had a lot to do! I loved it though so much. And again I got burnt! (Don't worry I'm getting new sunscreen!)

~I got back from Kings Island, and I got terribly sick for a few days. Now I am finally feeling better and I have to get ready for CORNERSTONE!

~I leave for Cornerstone Wednesday! I love cornerstone! I am going to be working with the Povlich's! I love them, and so I am looking forward to spending a few days with them and at cornerstone.

~Colombia is coming up really fast too, after cornerstone, I'll be home for a week and a half and I leave for Colombia! I know I am crazy! But I love it!

~Also, I get to speak at fuel on the 5th. I am excited:)

Well there's so much going on but that a little glimpse into my life :)

I've had a lot of thoughts lately, but truthfully I haven't wanted to write them out. Mostly thoughts and dealings with disappointment, in myself and others. I think I put people on this pedestal, thinking they are going to do something they are not. I always put more faith in people then what I should. Then when the outcome does not produce anything, I am usually left disappointed and hurt. I'm being vague for a reason, because it's kinda vague on how and when I feel it.

I hate seeing someone I looked up to so much, fall and struggle. I think I thought they were infallible but in reality, we all fall. But it still hurts seeing that.

I feel a little lost lately, but I don't think that it's horribly wrong. I'm not lost, lost. I am always found by Him. But in life I feel a little lost. So here I am waiting on Him.

I don't understand how people can walk away. Like I have gone through so many hard times, good times, times when I am far and times when I am close, but I WILL NEVER walk away from Him.

this is kind of random, but take it or leave it. BTW this is my blog so yeah :)

week in review

So I'm stealing this kinds from Margie (the best ideas are stolen :))

Fuel explosion tour started Monday, I don't know how I am going to handle this.

I am tired.

I think I need a new job, but I don't want to leave my job.

I want to go away somewhere.

I've been hanging out with Chantel a lot, and I happy about that, because we've been friends so long, she actually gets me.

I got to see Levi and Judah a lot last week! I love those boys, well I love that family! Adam and Katie are awesome!

I think this might be my last year being on a team for the explosion tour.

The lock-in is coming up so fast... I don't think I'm ready

I e-mailed the organization that I want to go to Africa with, I am hopeful they will allow me to go for three months.

Colombia is coming fast.. luckily I only need like $240ish.

I love Alyssa.. shes one of my fuel girls, and she made me a cute card on Monday for no reason, except to say that she loved me. I don't even do anything for her to love me.

I think I am failing at more than I should be.

I'm sick of meetings.

Restless.

There's a restlessness in my soul right now.

I can't stand still, but I don't know where to go.

I ask for directions, but still none come.

Not yet.

I want to move, go, explore, seek, serve, love.

Not yet.

Why is this stirring in my heart?

Where am I supposed to go?


Not yet.

I just can't stand still.

Not yet.

But I can't leave.

Not yet.

Remember

I am a horrible person at remembering. The other day I was reading a friend of mines blog And I was encouraged to write a blog about things I want to remember. So here it is. I encourage you (the 2 of you that read my blog haha) to do the same. :)

These are the most memorable moments of my life so far:

1. I got baptized in the Gibsons pool in front of my metro family
2. My first day as a fuel leader
3. I was in many JROTC competitions in HS and I won many awards for it
4. I went to Thailand
5. While in Thailand I visited a temple made completely out of bottles
6. I went to Cornerstone festival and caught rides all week on golf carts
7. I spent a week at the alive festival and got completely covered in mud each day :)
8. I spent a summer of my life with 3 amazing people, we listened to the same 3 cds all summer...
9. I got bit by a Millipede while painting a wall the second time in Thailand
10. Ive been on trips to cedar point, kings island, camping trip and canoeing trips.
11. My first REAL LIFE Retreat
12. I left my home and went to colorado for 8 months
13. the first time I saw the mountains
14. I climbed a mountain.. or 3 Including Pikes Peak! (14,000 ft)
15. I conquered the incline
16. I dug a hole for a latrine in Honduras
17. I climbed the great sand dunes
18. I went on tour with the desperation band and prayed with random people
19. I helped put on the desperation conference, where a year before my life was changed by it... then I got to see many lives changed again :)
20. Ive been white water rafting
21. Ive repelled on the side of a mountian
22. Got the honor of baptizing several girls
23. watched hundreds of people give their lives to Christ ever week!


My life is full.. my life is exciting... my life is so much more!

I could go on and on and on. God is good, God is great

Grace

I've had a lot of thoughts lately. Yesterday was the good friday service. It was so awesome. For the first time I got to be in it. I was actually REALLY nervous, but it turned out great:) But anyways, I've been thinking a lot about grace, because the good friday service was about grace. It's crazy how much we screw up in our lives, and how God gives us grace. Grace upon grace upon grace. I have seen the grace of God transform many lives lately. I have seen people who were far from Him come closer, and others who were growing close, make choices for Him that were tough.. Oh the grace we get. Us sinners, dirty, messed up, broken sinners... I am so thankful for grace in my life. the grace that changed me, but since then has been taking me on a crazy journey. Living life for Him is wayyyyyy more exciting then living life without Him. It's not about rules, its about a relationship that will take you to the ends of the earth and back, or maybe just to the end of your rope... then you can take hold of His.

His GRACE has brought me safe this far and His GRACE will lead me home

John 1:16 (English Standard Version)

And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.