My life is in Your hands

Joy-filled thinking

2011-01-06T12:14:00.002-07:00

So I've made it through 3 days of running. It's a lot farther than I ever thought I could go. Today is a rest day, but I will be at the gym, working out, but not running. Yesterday I had a hard time running. I defeated myself before I even got on the track, and because of that I didn't run as well as I would have liked. I only ran 1 mile. But it is still progress. I started reading (again) the book call The 4:8 principal It's about joyfull thinking, and how to have joy. It goes off of Philipians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

It talks a lot about your thoughts and how they can steal you joy. This year I want my thought life to be pure. I want it to be positive. I am working on thinking, so I can do. I can't run 26 miles if I already told myself I couldnt.

Day 1

2011-01-03T10:54:00.002-07:00

I can tell you that in the last year the farthest I've ran was probaby like from the front of metro to the back and that was hard for me. I can tell you I HATE running. But today I ran. I could have given up fast, but I didn't. I may have not run all 2 miles, but its not about the finish it's about the journey. Today I started a new journey. "a journey of a million miles begins with one step." Today was step one, tomorrow step two. I am going to be different this year, and I am excited for it :)

2011

2011-01-01T00:54:00.002-07:00

So today I was asked, "What is your New Year's resolution?" Well truthfully, I think if I were to have one (which I don't really make them, because I just want change, not so much because of the New Year) I would say mine is to fine me. This may sound silly, but in the course of this last year, I think I actually lost who I am. I lost it to the lies of this world, to stress, to un-heathly habits, to insecurities, to loneliness, to fear, ect... I could go on but I lost myself in so much this year. I don't think I really realized I had done this until this month where I was searching for who I was. I haven't been happy with myself. I hate how I look, I hate how I act, and I hate how I think. Am I not a child of God? Then why am I not acting like it. I have been stressed out, easily angered, emotional, not healthy. This is not who I really am. I am joyful, friendly, smiliey, heathly person. So I am on a journey this year to uncover that. It's been hidden for far too long. I am done with the old, in with the new. So Monday I started a excerise program, and I am changing my eating habits. I am not so much on a diet as I am just trying to make healthier choices. Also, this year I am going to be desperately searching for God. I want to be so much more in love with Him. A friend of mine is doing a marathon for clean water. I am thinking about joining. Am I scared? Yes I don't even know if I can run one mile. But I am going to try, worst thing that could happen is I don't make it. But atleast I will try. This year is going to be an awesome year of growth. I don't ever want to go back to who I was. I am moving on.

Thankful

2010-11-25T20:43:00.002-07:00

It's been hard for me to be thankful lately. I've been kinda discouraged lately, with a bunch of things. But I know that I need to be thankful during every situation. So here is what I am thankful for:

I am thankful for Jesus, who gives me life, and hope and purpose.
I am thankful for my parents, who might not show it all the time, but they love me a lot.
I am thankful that I have a house (not my own but I live rent free), a car, a laptop, a cell phone, food, clothes, a bed, water and other random things I "need" and a cute puppy who I love.
I am thankful that a I some good friends, ones who are there for me, and who help lift me up.
I am thankful I have people who I can look up to, that pour into me and help me to grow
I am thankful that I have girl in alive that I am blessed to have known and loved, some for 5 years, some for 5 months, but they are all beautiful and they are all growing into women who love Jesus with everything!
I am thankful that I get to serve in alive and fuel
I am thankful that I have had opportunities to go places other have never been able to go.
I am thankful that I have money so I can go see a friend this weekend.
I am thankful for people who believe in me, when I don't even believe in myself

I am thankful.

Today I was just thinking about the life that I live now, and how I know my life wont look like this forever. I was thinking of the cost I will pay to follow the call God has on my life. I was thinking about how difficult, yet rewarding it will be, and I was thinking about how easy it could be to not do it. It would be the worst but easy decision I would ever make. But I know its not even an option to take the easy route. It is scary and difficult, and lonely. Alot has been on my mind lately, sorry if this makes no sense, ask me in person.

Adoption T-shirt giveaway!

2010-11-05T22:09:00.002-06:00

Hey friends,
I stumbled upon this family and they are selling shirts to help with their adoption, really sweet shirts! please give them a look!

http://reevesfamily-fun.blogspot.com/2010/11/fundraiser-fun-and-giveaway.html

REPLY

2010-09-01T14:30:00.001-06:00

AHHH I finally got a reply. I could bounce off all the walls I am so excited. You see for the last 2 months I have been e-mailing and contacting different organizations I can go with to Uganda next year. And I have heard nothing until today. I finally got a reply. Today I was feeling so discouraged about it, and I was doubting I was supposed to go, but God is so faithful to His promises! I think this organization is going to fit well too. I am just so excited! wooohooooo :) Can you please keep praying I want this to be God's will! THANKS!

5 Years

2010-08-16T11:18:00.003-06:00

5 Years ago with the advice from a friend of mine I came to fuel for the first time. I still remember that day. It was the first day of fuel not being in the baptist building. We got kicked out because of hurricane Katrina, and they were using rooms for people who needed housing. That day we met there, then took the kids to the park to do fuel on location there. I remember being nervous. I met a few kids, but they seemed standoffish and I didn't think I was going to fit it. I didn't know what I was doing. Then I met Melanie. She just talked and talked and I just got to know her. After that, I felt comfortable. I started meeting people, and getting to know them and it was great. 5 Years later, here I am. It's different now. I've grown, changed. Fuel has too. I serve at Alive now too. The girls I met that first time, are now some of the girls in my life group. 5 years. I can tell you I didn't think I would be a leader 5 years later, but here I am. wow. Sometimes I have to just sit back and think of all that God has done. In 5 years... look at what happened. wow

Passion

2010-08-07T20:22:00.002-06:00

Hello friends,

Well I have not written here for a while. I am back from Colombia. It was a great trip. It had it's ups and downs, but I think anything would. My favorite thing we did over there was purity seminars. We got to speak on why women should wait to have sex until they are married, and broke the silence that was keeping them chained to their sin. By us speaking, they could speak out. Read more on this HERE But I really did enjoy the trip. One of the biggest things God showed me, was how much my heart is in Africa. I've never been there, but I feel so connected there already. Every day I think about going and serving, holding babies, speaking hope to the broken, loving. It's crazy to think about, but I have never been this set on going anywhere. God has called me so many places before, but I have never had them this embedded in my heart before.

I can tell you that a year and half ago I never would have thought I would be going. I remember in DLA they would ask people who wanted to do long term missions to come up and get prayed for. I would never go because I wanted to stay here. I didn't want to do missions. I thought it's cool to go places for like a week or two, but nothing longer. Now as this time is drawing closer to my trip (it's a year away but I know it will go by so fast) I feel that I could be okay with staying. If God told me to stay there, I feel now I would be okay with that. Wow what a heart change from a year ago. I am so excited and so ready.

But I'm not ready. I do not know which organization, or who I am going with. But besides that, I am ready. I am getting information right now from several people and organizations, and my goal is to know by the end of the month. I think the trip will cost between 3,500-5,000. But I am not sure. Money does not scare me, because I know God will provide.

Although this passion has been awakened in my heart, my heart has still been heavy lately. I've been hurt by some people who were close to me this week, and disappointed in others. It's hard to not have expectations of people. I am trying to let go, but I still feel very hurt.

On a brighter note, I got an espresso machine for $5 today. I am so excited to make my own coffee drinks.

Those are my random thoughts...

2010-07-14T01:24:00.001-06:00

Okay Friends I'm Off.... please check it out at http://christtocolombia.blogspot.com THANKS :)

A month in review?

2010-06-27T09:32:00.002-06:00

Well it's been awhile since I updated this. I've been wrestling with a lot of stuff lately, so I didn't really want to post anything, which is kinda opposite of the point of this, but whatever. But here are a bunch of things that have happened past and present and future! haha

~At the end of may we had the Cedar point trip! It was so much fun! There was a little bit of drama, but we work with High-schoolers, so what do you expect! haha. Other than that it was a good trip, I was sun burned, but it was good.

~The Fuel explosion tour ended. I love the fuel explosion tour, but it is so much work. Last time I was in it, I was just leading my team, I wasn't helping run fuel too. I realized doing both is almost impossible. This is probably my last year leading a team for the explosion tour, if I am still helping to direct fuel. BUT my team did win :) for the 4th time haha. AND I did not cheat!

~ Kings Island was Monday/Tuesday! It was crazy! Fuel kids are crazy, but I love them. We didn't have as many girl leaders as I would have liked, which meant I was the oldest female leader. Thats okay.. BUT it just means that I had a lot more fixin' to do! Making sure everyone had everything, fixing drama and issues. It was good, but still I had a lot to do! I loved it though so much. And again I got burnt! (Don't worry I'm getting new sunscreen!)

~I got back from Kings Island, and I got terribly sick for a few days. Now I am finally feeling better and I have to get ready for CORNERSTONE!

~I leave for Cornerstone Wednesday! I love cornerstone! I am going to be working with the Povlich's! I love them, and so I am looking forward to spending a few days with them and at cornerstone.

~Colombia is coming up really fast too, after cornerstone, I'll be home for a week and a half and I leave for Colombia! I know I am crazy! But I love it!

~Also, I get to speak at fuel on the 5th. I am excited:)

Well there's so much going on but that a little glimpse into my life :)

2010-05-28T09:09:00.003-06:00

I've had a lot of thoughts lately, but truthfully I haven't wanted to write them out. Mostly thoughts and dealings with disappointment, in myself and others. I think I put people on this pedestal, thinking they are going to do something they are not. I always put more faith in people then what I should. Then when the outcome does not produce anything, I am usually left disappointed and hurt. I'm being vague for a reason, because it's kinda vague on how and when I feel it.

I hate seeing someone I looked up to so much, fall and struggle. I think I thought they were infallible but in reality, we all fall. But it still hurts seeing that.

I feel a little lost lately, but I don't think that it's horribly wrong. I'm not lost, lost. I am always found by Him. But in life I feel a little lost. So here I am waiting on Him.

I don't understand how people can walk away. Like I have gone through so many hard times, good times, times when I am far and times when I am close, but I WILL NEVER walk away from Him.

this is kind of random, but take it or leave it. BTW this is my blog so yeah :)

week in review

2010-04-27T20:38:00.003-06:00

So I'm stealing this kinds from Margie (the best ideas are stolen :))

Fuel explosion tour started Monday, I don't know how I am going to handle this.

I am tired.

I think I need a new job, but I don't want to leave my job.

I want to go away somewhere.

I've been hanging out with Chantel a lot, and I happy about that, because we've been friends so long, she actually gets me.

I got to see Levi and Judah a lot last week! I love those boys, well I love that family! Adam and Katie are awesome!

I think this might be my last year being on a team for the explosion tour.

The lock-in is coming up so fast... I don't think I'm ready

I e-mailed the organization that I want to go to Africa with, I am hopeful they will allow me to go for three months.

Colombia is coming fast.. luckily I only need like $240ish.

I love Alyssa.. shes one of my fuel girls, and she made me a cute card on Monday for no reason, except to say that she loved me. I don't even do anything for her to love me.

I think I am failing at more than I should be.

I'm sick of meetings.

2010-04-22T20:10:00.004-06:00

Restless.

There's a restlessness in my soul right now.

I can't stand still, but I don't know where to go.

I ask for directions, but still none come.

Not yet.

I want to move, go, explore, seek, serve, love.

Not yet.

Why is this stirring in my heart?

Where am I supposed to go?

Not yet.

I just can't stand still.

Not yet.

But I can't leave.

Not yet.

Remember

2010-04-20T18:19:00.003-06:00

I am a horrible person at remembering. The other day I was reading a friend of mines blog And I was encouraged to write a blog about things I want to remember. So here it is. I encourage you (the 2 of you that read my blog haha) to do the same. :)

These are the most memorable moments of my life so far:

1. I got baptized in the Gibsons pool in front of my metro family
2. My first day as a fuel leader
3. I was in many JROTC competitions in HS and I won many awards for it
4. I went to Thailand
5. While in Thailand I visited a temple made completely out of bottles
6. I went to Cornerstone festival and caught rides all week on golf carts
7. I spent a week at the alive festival and got completely covered in mud each day :)
8. I spent a summer of my life with 3 amazing people, we listened to the same 3 cds all summer...
9. I got bit by a Millipede while painting a wall the second time in Thailand
10. Ive been on trips to cedar point, kings island, camping trip and canoeing trips.
11. My first REAL LIFE Retreat
12. I left my home and went to colorado for 8 months
13. the first time I saw the mountains
14. I climbed a mountain.. or 3 Including Pikes Peak! (14,000 ft)
15. I conquered the incline
16. I dug a hole for a latrine in Honduras
17. I climbed the great sand dunes
18. I went on tour with the desperation band and prayed with random people
19. I helped put on the desperation conference, where a year before my life was changed by it... then I got to see many lives changed again :)
20. Ive been white water rafting
21. Ive repelled on the side of a mountian
22. Got the honor of baptizing several girls
23. watched hundreds of people give their lives to Christ ever week!

My life is full.. my life is exciting... my life is so much more!

I could go on and on and on. God is good, God is great

Grace

2010-04-03T20:53:00.004-06:00

I've had a lot of thoughts lately. Yesterday was the good friday service. It was so awesome. For the first time I got to be in it. I was actually REALLY nervous, but it turned out great:) But anyways, I've been thinking a lot about grace, because the good friday service was about grace. It's crazy how much we screw up in our lives, and how God gives us grace. Grace upon grace upon grace. I have seen the grace of God transform many lives lately. I have seen people who were far from Him come closer, and others who were growing close, make choices for Him that were tough.. Oh the grace we get. Us sinners, dirty, messed up, broken sinners... I am so thankful for grace in my life. the grace that changed me, but since then has been taking me on a crazy journey. Living life for Him is wayyyyyy more exciting then living life without Him. It's not about rules, its about a relationship that will take you to the ends of the earth and back, or maybe just to the end of your rope... then you can take hold of His.

His GRACE has brought me safe this far and His GRACE will lead me home

John 1:16 (English Standard Version)

And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.

Different

2010-03-13T20:15:00.001-07:00

So I had dinner with a friend tonight. We've been friends for probably 3 or 4 years. I met her when she started working at petsmart. She is not a Christian, she says she is Catholic, but she usually just likes to go to church. But that's not really an issue. She is my friend and I love her no matter what. But talking to her tonight made me realize how different my life is to the rest of the world. Jesus said to be in the world, but not of the world. I often think that I am both, because I am human and I fall short of God's glory. But then nights like tonight I realize how much I am not of the world. We had differing views on dating, sex, marriage. And I am not condemning her for any way she lives. She is my friend, I don't need to judge her I just need to love her. It was just so interesting to be reminded of what the cost that is to bear His name. My life is different. I don't drink, I don't have sex, I don't smoke, I don't listen to bad music, or watch bad movies. Hear me on this I'm not trying to say look at me I'm the good Christian, because I know I am the biggest sinner in the world. But I say this because my life is different. Jesus says to live different. But are we living differently or the same as everyone else?

Counting the cost

2010-03-05T18:05:00.002-07:00

So Wednesday at life groups I talked about Counting the cost of following Jesus. And how it will cost us A LOT to follow Him. I was inspired by (yet again) Katie Davis click here to read the blog post that inspired me. I am so inspired and excited to move into action when I read her blogs! But the reason I am writing this is, am I ready to count the cost. Jesus requires EVERYTHING of us, and for awhile, I think I have only been giving Him part. Part of my time, Part of my money, Part affections, Part of my heart, Part of my emotions, Part of me. I cannot only give Him part of me. JESUS WANTS ALL OF ME. But truthfully, my comfort gets the best of me. I want to give Him all, but I want my comfort. But I no longer want that. I want to have all of Him. I don't care about myself, I want Him. Oh the battle in my head and my heart. It's like that verse that says I don't do what I should do, but I do what I shouldn't... or something along that lines. But God gives me grace every minute. So I will use it! Well, I hope this inspires you to count the cost of following Jesus... He said DENY yourself and pick up your cross... refuse your desires and get ready to die... I am ready to die to myself for Him...

Just kidding.. hear me out

2010-02-26T08:13:00.002-07:00

Well in the last post I wrote about how I was not going to go to Colombia, and how I felt like I was supposed to go to Uganda instead. I still want to go to Uganda, but now God has changed things and I am able to go to Colombia too. God is really funny, because I totally was sure He didn't want me to go, but I still said, well if it's your will then you'll make it happen. And He did. I'm not going to get into all the details, but I can tell you He changed a lot so I would be able to go. So now I'm going to Colombia, and I'll go to Uganda/Kenya/Rwanda in august 2011:)

Columbia... I mean Uganda

2010-02-08T11:50:00.002-07:00

A few months ago, we found out that Alive/Metro is going to Columbia this summer. They went last year and it was great, God changed many peoples lives down there. Well for awhile now, I've been thinking and praying about going to Columbia. In my head I really wanted to go. I wanna go be a part of what Alive and Metro will be doing their this summer. I love mission trips, I love going to other countries and helping them and serving. I also really love seeing students getting their lives changed on mission trips and this year several of my girls are going. So why wouldn't I go... So I talked to my parents, who were not supportive of the idea, because of my brothers and my sisters wedding this year. So I was like okay, I'm not going. But then again I was like maybe I could. So I thought and planned and wanted to again. But I just know in my heart (not my head) I'm not supposed to go. A few months ago, I heard about this girl named Katie Davis... read about her here She is an amazing young woman who abandoned a normal life, for what God had called her to do. She is 21 and has adopted 14 children from Uganda. She and her children live there, and she feeds over 300 other children each day. I think that is so amazing. Ever since I've heard about her I have been just captivated by her story. I don't think a day goes by that I don't think about her and what she is doing in Uganda! So I've just been hearing God whisper.. go. Very softly and gently. Go. So I e-mailed the organization, but they said they are equipped to take in anyone to do a short term mission trip. But the whisper hasn't stopped... go.. go. So now I am going to be looking into other ways to go, but I am hoping and praying to go to Africa in August of 2011. Which seems a long way off, but I need to get some other things in order here first. I am excited, because I know that seems far away but it isn't really. So I am excited for God to move. So please start praying for me, even though this journey is far away, pray that I would be lead to the right person/ organization to go with.

His servant,

Megan

Rest

2010-02-02T14:58:00.002-07:00

The last week has been crazy! I either worked or had something for ministry everyday from beginning to end. It was busy. But I love it. I have joy for my assignment. I love where God has put me. I love the kids, I love the other leaders I love everything about it... even the crazy weeks. On Friday we left for the winter retreat. It was an awesome weekend. God showed up big time for my girls. I am telling you that I got to see one of my girls grow so much in just 3 days. She is learning so much. I see God working in her, its a long journey, but I know she will make it. But its not always easy. Having a busy week, means that I am tired, drained, and short on joy. I love it, but I am usually exhausted. So today, I rested. I am just resting. I took a nap and just chilled. I am just trying to relax, rest in Him. I know His joy is my strength. I am often reminded why I do youth ministry. It seems like when I am most tired, emptied, hurt and down.. God reminds me. Man what a awesome God I serve. I am greatful

2010-01-19T18:25:00.002-07:00

So I've had a lot of thoughts lately in my mind, but I haven't been able to get my thoughts down. But I think I am able to now, so here's a few things that have been on my mind lately.

1. GRACE
First, last week I got to go to this women's retreat thing. It was awesome. Getting this opportunity to go, was amazing. During that I really felt grace. Like I didn't deserve this awesome opportunity, but I was given it anyways. I didn't do anything special, but I still got it. I think just the chance to go, helped to realize the Grace God has for me all the time. I don't deserve His grace but He gives it to me. Everyday I mess up, but He still gives me grace.

2. It's going to be hard.
During the retreat I got to talk to one of the best jr high women youth pastor. She is full of so much knowledge. (her last jr. high youth group had 500 kids in it!) Well I got to sit down and talk to her, and I asked: "What's the hardest thing about being a woman youth pastor?" Her reply: "Being a woman youth pastor." Wow what a wake up call. She basically said you need to be sure you are called to this, because if your not willing to endure,less of everything.. Money, respect..ect.. then you shouldn't do it. It was a wake up to me because I knew it was going to be hard, but I thing for the first time I really realized how hard. This was going to be a fight. But I know what God is calling me to, so I will endure it.

3. Get a routine!
I need a routine in my life. If I don't have one then I am not able to effectively complete the tasks I have. I need to get into gear, wake up, go to the gym, have quiet time, go to work, get things done I need to get done, and go to bed. I think sometimes we think routines or rituals are bad, but the more you do something the less you think about doing it, and the more you just do it. I need to have more stability in my life.

4. Dream Big
After I got back from the womens retreat, a day and a half later, I went on the Alive winter retreat. (No time for rest! haha) The Alive winter retreat was all about dreaming Big, listening to God's dreams for your life, and going after them. It was awesome. I had some time to think about what God's dreams for me, and what He wants me to do. I don't think I have it all figured out but I know somethings.
a. Be a youth pastor
b. Get married and have a family (I want 10 kids.. 5 adopted)
c. Sometime I want to spend a while in Africa.. I'm not sure how long or when
d. Love big
Those are some of the things I know I have in my heart. And I know I want to go do them!
5. Just give a rip about them!
At the womens retreat Jeanne was talking about students today, and how they are so jacked up and no one cares about them, so if you just give a rip about them, then you can make a difference in their lives. I saw this on Monday. One of my girls was really upset after fuel so I talk to her. She confessed that she hasn't been living for God lately, and my talk really convicted her. I just sat there speaking grace over her. (what a privileged!) I continually told her I loved her and I didn't look down on her and that grace covered her. I gave a rip about her. I love her and the rest of "my girls". I hope they know that. I love them all so much, I tell them all the time, so I hope they know. I want them one day to look back and know that I cared about them, because God cares about them.

I know there are so many things, but that's all I can think about right now. So I leave you with those thoughts...

Romans 8:37-39
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Uncomfortable

2009-12-28T07:51:00.002-07:00

Do you live an uncomfortable life? I want to...
It's uncomfortable to spend time with God everyday
It's uncomfortable to not spend your money on whatever you want.
It's uncomfortable to be the only Christian in your house
It's uncomfortable to live below your means so you can give beyond your means
It's uncomfortable to follow God's will in your life
It's uncomfortable to take a path into the unknown
It's uncomfortable to for go earthly things for heavenly ones
It's uncomfortable to not date when the rest of the world is
It's uncomfortable to only be understood by the One no one understands

How can you be uncomfortable?

What do I wanr for Christmas?

2009-12-23T20:42:00.004-07:00

Well, Christmas is in three days. All I've been asked lately is what do I want for Christmas? Really...nothing. I am content with what I have. I could use a new phone, but my brother is supposed to be getting me that. Besides that I really don't need anything. But I decided to put on here a list of things I wish I could have...

1. An Apartment
2. A round trip ticket to Colorado
3. A tall black dresser
4. My parents to come to church
5. No fights at Christmas

That's what I want for Christmas

Flexibility

2009-12-10T18:55:00.003-07:00

When I was in DLA we always had to be flexible. Everything was always changing, we never really knew what was going to happen. I think that helped me a lot. It helped me to learn to take directions without really knowing the reason. A lot of people say the number one rule on missions is flexibility. I learned this again this week.(I believe I am on mission always.. His mission, it might not be overseas, but its still a mission) With news that Adam and Katie will not be back til next week, it was a time to be flexible. We just had to work out a few details and now everything is all ready. Flexibility is so important in ministry. There have been so many times that I have had everything all planned out and something happened and I had to drop everything to deal with it. A student called who needed something, a friend needing someone to talk to, something in Alive and Fuel needing to be changed. But now I don't really get upset. I know God is in control of my day and I will get done what He wants me to. I remember reading a book, where the author was talking about interruptions in his day. Someone coming to his office needing to talk, at first he was upset by the interruptions, but then God laid it on his heart that they were there for a purpose. Now when he has someone come to him, during his busy day, he just says: God must have sent you, lets find out why your here. What an awesome way to think about a change in plans. Things in life are always changing. It not about weather we change or not, its about how we cope with the change. I always want to be open and flexible for whatever God might have come my way.

Corinthians 9:19-21 (New International Version)

19Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. 20To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law.

Even Paul was flexible... depending on who he was with!

Happy Turkey Day???

2009-11-27T19:10:00.003-07:00

So I walk into my grandma's house yesterday and there was a sign "Happy Turkey Day" made by my little cousin who is 10.. now I understand she is only 10 and may not understand the importance of Thanksgiving...but where do you think she learned that from . I see it all around in stores, on school signs, on tv and radio... we are losing the meaning of holidays. I think it is so sad, that we have lost the real meaning of Thanksgiving, and have turned it into a day where we eat and watch football. I think it is ridiculous that we sit down for 45 min, say negative things about how the food tastes and then its over. I was listening to the radio the other day and they were selling pre-made Thanksgiving dinners, advertising "Don't bother with the hassle of making Thanksgiving dinner...." The hassle... is that all this holiday is anymore is a hassle. I want to sit and appreciate my family. Enjoy conversation, enjoy each other. Take our time eating... and be Thankful for what I have. Many people around the world didn't even eat yesterday... and we are so selfish we can't even appreciate what we do have on a Holiday that calls for Thanks giving... the giving of thanks for what we have. But who am I kidding anymore... America has turned this Holiday from Thanksgiving... into Turkey day....

Adam, Katie, Levi and Judah Dorband

2009-11-14T19:25:00.002-07:00

Well today was the baby celebration for Adam and Katie. It was wonderful! In January God started to move Adam and Katie's heart towards adoption, specifically in a little country called Rwanda. (I found out today that is 1/6 the size of Michigan). So they began the journey to adopt (not one but 2 babies). They have finally almost come to the end of this long and hard process. So today we wanted to celebrate with them on their 2 adorable baby boys. I think adoption is such a wonderful thing. Ever since I've heard of them wanting to adopt I was so excited, because my heart is totally for adoption (many people know I want to adopt when I am older). Adoption is such a beautiful picture of what Christ does with us. He adopts us into His family, call us His own. How awesome is that! I have known Adam and Katie since they moved to Michigan about 5 1/2 years ago. The number one thing that is so amazing about them is that they are fully in love with Jesus, and they have given their lives to help teenagers do the same. They are seriously wonderful. I can honestly say that I would not be the person I am today, if Adam and Katie hadn't decided to come to Michigan, and work at Metro. I don't think I can even put into words how much they have done for me, and so many other because of their willingness to love and serve the downriver, because of the love of God that is in them. Today I was just so blessed to serve, and bless them, how they have blessed my life. Thats what made the baby celebration so wonderful, because we are honoring such a wonderful couple who have done so much for so many. Thank you Adam and Katie!

A More Beautiful You

2009-10-31T21:58:00.001-06:00

New Creation

2009-10-17T00:09:00.002-06:00

My life is spend helping teenagers come to know Jesus. Whether you believe in Jesus or not, that;s not the real issue here. I believe in change. Week after week, year after year, I see change. I see someone come in addicted to porn and drugs, changed to someone who is free from the addictions. I see someone scared, lost, lonely, changed into someone who is loved, secure and knows there future.I have known students who are so shy, scared of meeting new people, become the crazy out going one. Story after story after story. The list goes on... Abused...healed...unloved...loved...
lonely...accepted...addicted...free...lustful...pure... Whatever you can think of, i know a story of a real student, who was changed. It's more than just bible songs here. It's more than just going to church. It's encountering the Living God, who can change people. I am such in awe of God, when I sit down, and remember what He has done in peoples lives.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17

Long to long

2009-10-10T20:21:00.003-06:00

I want my soul to ache for Christ. I want my heart to long for His returning. As a bride longs for her husband, I want to have that same longing for Christ. I want it.. but sometimes I admit I don't have it. Other things fall in the way. Distractions, busyness, other wants and things. They all get in the way of that deep desiring for God. But I want it. I long to long. "The longing to long, is longing." David Perkins once said that. But I think sometimes it is, and sometimes we aren't really longing, we are just longing in the sense of kinda wanting it. Like yeah it would be nice to long for Christ... it would be nice to find 20 dollars... I don't want that kind of longing. I want true intimate longing for My Savior. A friend of mine wrote a blog about being undone and wrecked for Christ. I want that. I want my heart to ache for Him. I'm not there, but my longing for that, is growing deeper. I will not give up. As Miguel would say be Resilient.

Fuel- Jr. High Ministry

2009-09-05T20:00:00.002-06:00

I believe that God calls us in specific ways. For me, four years ago (almost exactly) God called me to Junior High Ministry. At first, it was just a place to serve. I love the kids, and liked helping at fuel. I loved talking to young teenage girls and speaking truth to them, and loving them. I loved being a "big sister" to many of them, and just hanging out and talking to them. So soon after, I just fell in love with Fuel and the kids there. It was different. They were loved no matter what, and I loved that. Most people think junior high students are crazy, wild, annoying... and while at times they are, they are also the most genuine and loving students. I tell a lot of people that if junior high students can realize who they are in God, and the calling that He has on their lives and they live it out, they can change the world. I believe junior high students can start a movement in this generation. So, as you can tell, my serving soon became a calling. I don't just come to Fuel to serve, I come to love, serve and lead. It goes beyond a commitment. It's a calling placed on me by God, Himself.

That being said, I want to live it out. A friend of mine Jessica Posted a blog about dreaming big. So here is my big dream. I want to start a movement of junior high students who are on fire for God, because they have encounter Him, and know who He is and who they are in Him. They are willing to stand up against this culture and live their lives out for the One who gave His. They are willing to go and be His hands and feet to the least of these. That is my big dream to have thousands upon thousands changing the world.

I don't know how to do this, but He does. So, this is my prayer, that they will know Him and know who they are because they know Him. If they can get that.... then watch out world... get ready to be shaken.

Home

2009-08-27T14:58:00.002-06:00

So I've been home for almost 3 weeks now. It weird to think that a few weeks ago I was walking across the stage at DLA as a graduate. It weird to think that a few weeks before that I was acting as if nothing was going to change in my life, as if DLA would be forever, but the real reality is.. it did end. It ended I moved on (literally moved). And now I am back to where I started, but not really. It seems to everyone except me that I have done what I needed to do, and now I am back home. But it is so much deeper than that. I did not do what I needed to do. I did not complete my mission. I did not finish. The real journey is now. The real testament is now. This is now my mission. Nothing in DLA can be as hard as life will be now. I have to live every day in a battle between what God wants me to do, and what satan doesn't. Now is the time of true perseverance. Now is the time to press on. Indeed it has been a hard transition back. Life in DLA was easier at times. I had friends who became like family around me pushing me on. I had time everyday to spend with Jesus. My only real responsibility was the program. Now, I have to work, do things with ministry, have friends and spend time with Jesus. No one is holding my hand anymore. The reason they would push us so much at DLA is so that when no one was pushing us, we would still do it. Fight for the 2%. So here I am. Back home... fighting. Now more than ever I need to. My mission in now, I have a purpose and a calling in THIS GENERATION. There are students who don't know of the love that is in Jesus and I need to show them.

I Will Never Be The Same Again

2009-07-30T14:44:00.002-06:00

I love this song. Its a song that reminds me of this year. I don't think I will ever be the same person I was before DLA. God has changed my heart in so many ways. I want to love deeper, take risks, and live truly live everyday. I am no longer going to live in the traps of apathy and laziness. I will fight everyday for the One who matters. Life is so much more than I ever thought it could be. I want to live that way. I don't think I can truly explain everything from this year but I can say that I am different.

Home

2009-07-24T15:43:00.001-06:00

I will be home really soon! I cant wait to see you all!!!!

UPDATE!

2009-07-04T22:41:00.002-06:00

Oh my oh my! Things have bneen crazy around here, and they aren't going to slow down anytime soon. I have 5 weeks left in beautiful colorado, then I am heading back home. Well conference was like a week or so ago. IT WAS AMAZING! I can't spill the beans too much incase someone who is coming to the July reads this, but it was just amazing to see thousands of teenagers passionately going after God, and to know that I got to help with it.. it amazing. My job for the conference was like to head up the greeters. I loved it. I got to talk to all the greeters get to know them, and it was just amazing. I LOVED IT! I can't really explain a lot... but it was life changing. The biggest thing GOD taught me was that the joy of the LORD is my strength. It is so hard when you are going going going and not sleeping a lot. My body felt the same was it felt after a lock-in... but we had to get for 3 days. I mean we slept... just not a lot. But I just kept Gods joy in my heart, and I had strength for the day. I loved it. Anyways, after the conference we got to go white water rafting.... it was amazing. A wonderful day in the sun and water (it was cold water but still good) I just had a wonderful time. This week is going to be normal but crazy. We got conference prep again and scripture memory test on friday and CHANTEL IS COMING FRIDAY! I am so excited. She is staying for a week. I am excited... and we get to go swing dancing after the mill on friday! Its gonna be an amazing week. GOD is good... life is amazing. Its getting to the point where it is kinda getting hard, as everyone is talking about coming back for a second year, and I just don't think God has called me to that. I think I am supposed to now be focused and go to school and get my degree. I am already registered for classes, and I am super excited about it:) well anyways please be praying again for the next conference, same deal different month... but we want a different God encounter. I am sure it will happen and I am praying it will too. I love you all so much!

2009-06-16T11:07:00.003-06:00

Okay so it's been so long since I've Updated! Well here is the big huge update! Well a few weeks ago we went to Honduras. Honduras was awesome. It was a short trip, but the way we did ministry was different that I've ever thought about it before. When we got there, we were told that we would be working with this people up on the mountain that no one had really worked with. The contact Jeff, had just kinda found them in march (off roading in his new truck) Since then he's been working with them, trying to get them better health, hygiene, and things like that. So far he was able to get a little store up there (they only have enough money to buy things for the day in honduras so everywhere they have these little shops called puperia's) and he got road up there, so he could bring clean water to them everyday. All the water up there is contaminated. So they are getting sick from the water. But Jeff is trying to work on that and get the health up there better. So we were just there to serve and talk to the people. We weren't there to evangelize. It was different shift. Like we were meeting their needs, not just the physical by giving them care packages, and digging latrines but also by talking to them and caring about them, loving them. I just loved it so much. So here are some pictures...

There Will be more on facebook eventually! Anyways conference is in a week! Pray for all the teenagers that will be coming, pray that they have an encounter with Christ like they have never before!

Submission

2009-05-11T01:15:00.002-06:00

"Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:25-27

I never really truly understood that verse until DLA. In DLA we work out every morning and it's because we want to beat our bodies and make them it our slave. Don't run the race and disqualify yourself, because you can not control yourself. In everything you need to lay down yourself for others. Whether it is eating nasty green chili, or running 3 miles, it doesn't matter what it is. You can overcome so much more than you think. So I am going to continue to work my body into submission for the glory of God.

Life is good:)

2009-05-02T13:46:00.003-06:00

So, so much had been happening over that last few weeks, so I thought I would update with some pictures:)

For my birthday we went to Texas road house the night before (my favorite restaurant) I went with my team. It was so much fun and it was delicious! So here are a few pictures from that night, (they made me get on a saddle and they sang to me.. but I don't have any pictures of that lol.

Then the next day on my birthday they made me a cake!

Then that night my home sponsors surprised me with a cake and ice cream,it was like another little party!

So then the next day we went on tour! Tour was amazing. We got to meet a ton of people and pray with them and it was awesome. I have a ton of pictures from tour, they are on my face book!

It's

2009-04-14T00:34:00.001-06:00

My birthday:)

Ladies DLA Breakfast

2009-04-12T12:59:00.003-06:00

So I think I have talked about the book Captivating before, but I really love that book, because it's truly captures the heart of women. The other day the DLA Men (i sometimes call them boys, but they are really men!)planned a special DLA Ladies appreciation breakfast. It was a total surprise. They planned everything, and told us to get dressed up. It was lovely. But the reason I bring up the book Captivating, is because I could see how much, women love to be delighted in. The whole breakfast was about tell us how much they love us (as sisters in Christ) and what they love and basically delighting in us. After the breakfast the ladies were all excited, and we were dancing around, enjoying each other, but mostly, just being ourselves. We were comfortable being who we were, because we felt so loved and delighted in. It was so beautiful, because when women are who they actually are, their true beauty comes out. I have never seen such beauty as when they were dancing and twirling around, laughing and just glowing....because they were truly, enjoyed and delighted in.

Oh and BTW... this is my team!

You teach what you know....

2009-04-11T12:10:00.002-06:00

You reproduce who you are...

They were talking about this quote, the other day, and it really hit me. I can teach what I know about God, all day long. But at the end of the day, I reproduce who I am. Actions speak louder than words. It really hit me, because I don't want to reproduce half-hearted Christians. People who come to church, but that's all. I want to reproduce Christians, who are passionately in love with Jesus. That follow God's will in their lives, that spend time with Him everyday. That's the kind of Christian I want to reproduce! In order to reproduce that, I need to be that. I need to be so in love with God, that it's all I can talk about! That is how deep I want my love for God to be! If I can only reproduce Christians that are half-hearted, I might as well give it up. It would be better for me to not be a youth pastor, then to create half-hearted Christians. It would be better for me to quit now, then to cause others to stumble. I am going to go deep. I want to reproduce passionate lovers of God.

I'm not going to Mexico..

2009-04-10T12:50:00.002-06:00

So, just to let you know, because of the violence in Mexico, we are not going to go to Mexico. We are sending a small group of guys...but they will be flying in so that way its not as dangerous. God totally provided though! In the matter of like 24 hrs, 2 other missions trips came up. God provided the trips and the extra money to go! God is amazing. So we have a group going to Berlin, Germany, and a group going to Honduras... I get to go to Honduras!!!!! I am so excited. From the minute they said the 2 trips.. I was like I want to go to Honduras... even though Germany would be cool for like the experience of going there, we get to work with kids in Honduras... which is where my heart is. I am so stinking excited! God is amazing!

Pray for Mexico

2009-03-30T18:04:00.001-06:00

Hey everyone,
Some of you may know that in May I am going to Mexico for a mission trip with DLA. Well because of all the recent troubles with Mexico, they are deciding this week if we are going to be able to go or not. Please pray for Mexico, pray for all the stuff that is going on there. And pray that whatever God's will is, if we are supposed to go or not, let His will be done. Thanks so much everyone I love you all!

Quitter

2009-03-26T15:20:00.002-06:00

So we had our missions training. I had the worst and hardest day of my life on Tuesday. We had to hike up this mountain for 8 miles... 6 were off road which is very hard,we were close to jogging pace, and sometimes were jogging, and we were at an elevation I have never been to.. except maybe when on a plane for a few min. It was stinking hard. I cried a lot, and I wanted to quit... many times. I didn't. One because I couldn't anyways, because they wouldn't let me... but 2 if I quit, what would happen... I don't want to go home yet, although I want to go home and see everyone, I just know its not the right time yet. And what would that say to other people? That when times got hard I quit? No I won't quit. Its that last 2% that people fail... when in the future I get married.. am I gonna quit because it gets to hard? Am I gonna quit when I get to college and its too hard? Am I gonna quit when ministry and life gets too hard? No! I won't give up. God also taught me a lot about strength and how when we are weak He is strong. But the whole time I was like God give me strength, and nothing would happen, but God gave me strength in a different way. He gave me other people, to help me though. Too often I am too self-reliant. I do things in my own strength, and my own will. But God sometimes wants us to rely on other people, He made us for community, and to share with each other. When I had no strength left, God gave me strength, just not my own. It was in other people, they had to help me get though the hard times. I had to humble myself and ask for help from other people. It was so humbling. God really showed me a lot though my worst day. But I made it though, no quitting.

Here is a beautiful song

2009-03-21T23:18:00.001-06:00

This is like one of my new favorite songs...

Its kinda off of Psalm 139.. my favorite psalm

Enjoy:)

Freedom

2009-03-21T10:37:00.002-06:00

Freedom comes when you let go. Jesus came for you to have freedom, which most people don't understand, because they think that if you follow Jesus, then you have rules, and your not free. But you have rules out in the world too. Things that you can't do, because someone will think your not cool, things you have to do, what you have to wear, and act like. But the difference is, that in the world, you are in bondage to your sin. Your sin keeps you from being free, you become addicted, enchained, obsessed, with whatever you are in sin to. Some people it could be drugs, alcohol, pornography, lust, self image. All these things keep you from being free. But Jesus died to take those things, to forgive you of those, and give you freedom. Last night I felt free. I was at the Mill, and then I went to the prayer meeting, and during worship, I just let go. I don't care about anyone else around, but Jesus. I want to glorify Him. I want to worship Him. I just let go. I am reading the old testament, and I have been so encouraged by it. Even though sometimes it is kinda boring..(the genealogies and such) I love reading about the old testament characters, and how they followed God, and how is was so different, and how thankful I am that Jesus came. Now we don't have to sacrifice an animal every time we sin. Jesus is the sacrifice. Now we can just live free, not in bondage to sin.
So today, live in the freedom...

God is so good.

2009-03-17T22:28:00.002-06:00

Well I think most of you would agree. But, like since I have gotten to Colorado, I have felt like, I didn't understand why God had brought me here, like I knew He had a reason, but I wasn't really growing, I mean I kinda was, but I still felt like I was in this dry place with Him, I didn't feel like I had any real close friends, and I just felt like... empty. Well last week was a really bad week for me. Like everything that was like storing up inside of me... kinda exploded. So, all week I was like wondering why I was here, and asking God why. But like this weekend God really showed me why I am here, and my purpose and a goal. Now that God has shown me that, I feel so ready to get it done and I feel like I have a purpose. I am so ready to go after what God has planned for me. So, tonight was amazing! God really just gave me joy, and for the first time I have fully felt free. Like there have been times here like that I have felt closer to God and stuff, but they were like little things, Now I feel really free, and I feel like I wanna run after God with everything and not stop. I am ready to go deep and intimate with Him. I am so excited for what He is going to teach me and how He is going to use me. God is sooooooooooo Good:)

Focused Life

2009-03-16T10:23:00.002-06:00

This weekend we had our Focus weekend. Which is like where we talk about out life goals, and what God had put in us, and where we want to go in life. I think God was preparing for this weekend all week. More and more I can see the reason God has called me here. He has called me here to prepare, and recharge and get ready for what is to come. He knew that Metro, alive and fuel are gonna explode! He knew that my heart was to serve there, but He knew I needed to be ready. I am so excited to come back and be a part of what God is going to do there. I am so excited to use what I learned and to go back and use it for Gods glory! Well anyways here is my mission statement that we had to write. My mission statement is to reach,lead, disciple, and love the young teenagers of the downriver area. To disciple teenage girls and instill a sense of value and beauty in them, and to live a life that is fully pleasing to God in the process. Okay, the reason it says young teenagers its because my heart is for jr. high age. I think everyone knows that, but it doesn't say young teenage girls, because I want to help to disciple all teenage girls. I love watching them grow and come from a 6th or 7th grader to a 12th grader.. that is exciting and that is kinda what I wanna do with that, I don't know how that is going to play out... but it will be good. Also, I put in the downriver area, because that is where God has put me to be right now, but my mission statement will change and evolve over time, so right now it could be downriver in 20 years it could be something else. But for now, that is my heart, that is what I want to do, and that is what I am going to be pursuing.

Captivating

2009-03-12T19:28:00.003-06:00

One of my favorite memory was from a few years ago. There was some people over at Adam and Katie's, but I don't think they were there, it was when Brynne and Jessie were living there. Anyways, it started to rain, but it was a nice rain, it was warm out side, and it was a beautiful night, besides the rain. I love the rain when it's like that, it's like the perfect summer rain. So, Brynne, Jackleen and I decided to go play in the rain. That is what any adventurous girl would do. But what was funny about it, is we were so childlike when we were playing in the rain. Splashing and jumping in the puddles. Then we decided we were warrior princesses from Russia or something. We made up names, and talked in an accent and played as if we were 5 year old little girls. I remember that so well. I remember how free I felt, how lovely, adventurous, how exciting. I loved it so much, I think we were out there for like an hour, but then the fantasy was over, and we had to go on with our lives.

I started to reread the book Captivating. In the book it talks about how we as women want to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure. As soon as I read it my mind went back to that night. As silly and childish it was, it was so beautiful. We were free, we were playing this irreplaceable role in a great adventure. We felt important and lovely. That memory of that night will never leave me.

Update

2009-02-28T21:17:00.000-07:00

Well I think it is about time for an update. Well first I want to let you all know that I had the best Valentine's ever. The guys on our team made us dinner, and wrote us notes and got us flowers, it was sooooo sweet! I love the guys on our team.They treat us like ladies, but not just like ladies but like their sisters in Christ. They protect us and honor us and treat us with absolute purity, and for that I am so thankful that God put me on the team I am on. Anyways the last few weeks have been crazy. I have realized a lot about myself and a lot about what God has for me. We went through two events this past 2 weeks. The first one was our retreat overcome. This was all about overcoming past hurts, sins and things in our life that keep us separated from God. I realized a lot. I view myself in usually a bad way. But God revealed to me how He sees me. And how much He loves me and how He picks me out of the multitude. Gods love was lavished on me that week. This week we are in our thing called testify. There are these people from another church here to speak proficiency over us. To help us to realize our original design. It's not in a weird way, but just showing how God made me. It is cool to see God speak truth into my life. God is so amazing I have seen Him do crazy things. I think we limit the power of God a lot of times. God has infinate power, and usually we tend to not use it. But we need to realize that Gods power is inside of us and we have the authority to use it in Jesus' name! I think the sick and hurting should be healed all the time, but we rarely use the power we have. God has given us power... use it for His glory.

Princess

2009-02-13T23:06:00.000-07:00

I think every girl has always wanted to be a princess at some time or another. I think it is a longing that is put deep inside of us by God. We are His princess. If God is king and I am his daughter it makes perfect sense that I am a princess.

Ephesians 1:4-6 (The Message) How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He's the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love.

Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.

We are adopted in as a child of God. He wants us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving. That means we are cherished and adored by God, so much so he wants to lavish on us.

Psalm 45 9-15

Daughters of kings are among your honored women;
at your right hand is the royal bride in gold of Ophir.
Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear:
Forget your people and your father's house.
The king is enthralled by your beauty;
honor him, for he is your lord.
The Daughter of Tyre will come with a gift,
men of wealth will seek your favor.
All glorious is the princess within her chamber ;
her gown is interwoven with gold.
In embroidered garments she is led to the king;
her virgin companions follow her
and are brought to you.
They are led in with joy and gladness;
they enter the palace of the king.

This psalm just demonstrates how God wants to treat us as His bride as His princesses. God is enthralled with our beauty. God wants to bestow beauty for ashes. We are loved so much by God. But the problem is the world always tells us other wise. We aren't pretty, smart, skinny, outgoing, althetic, sexy, girlie....enough. That what the world says to us. But God says the opposite. God loves us the way we are. We are His creation, His master piece.

I guess I am telling all of this because of two things. One, girls you need to realize this and acknowledge what God has given you, and who you are in God.

Two, guys...you need to treat girls like this. For the last month I have been in DLA I have met the most amazing guys ever. They are true gentlemen and they want to respect and honor women. They treat us how we are, as princesses of the Most High, and their sisters in Christ.
1 Timothy 5: 1- 2 Treat younger men as brothers,older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
They have treated us the way men should, and not because they like us or anything like that, but because we are their sisters in Christ and they want to show us how real men should treat us. That is what is should be like. Guys who love God should treat ALL women like that, which respect and honor.

I am a princess, my father is the King of Kings

Change

2009-02-11T14:49:00.000-07:00

Change
It seems like the whole world is screaming for Change.
Change the world.
Change the nation.
Change who you are.
Change your hair, you style, your weight, heck you can even change your face!
Our world is seeking change everywhere. In Politics, books, magazines, tv, Oprah, and anyone else who will say they have the answer. We seek to change so much, but how do we really change things, and what do we really need to change. I think people know our world needs help. The AIDS epidemic is out of control, kids die each second from starvation on the other side of the world, and here in America child obessity is the highest, people are out of jobs, stocks are low, people are uncertian about the future. But where do they turn? Drugs, Alchol, pleasure, other people, ANYWHERE but where the real answer lies...JESUS. If we want to see real change in the world, people getting their life together, hunger gone, happiness..true happiness, we need to turn to Jesus. To get change we need to change our hearts. We need to break our heart for what breaks Gods. And we need to pray. Pray for a real change. Where prayer focus' power falls. A revival is coming, and its times to play a part in it. We need to pray, pray for our nation, pray for others, pray for children in Africa, pray, pray, pray. Every little prayer matters to God, we need to get our hearts in line with His. Its time for a change. Its time to see healing and resoration. Its time....

How do we do it?

Pray

home

2009-02-05T22:42:00.000-07:00

If home is where the heart is what if my heart isn't anywhere. I feel like my heart has no resting place. Like I don't feel at home here, and I don't feel at home there. Where is my home. My only true home is in Jesus, yes I know that, but seriously I want to feel at home somewhere. I know where I truly feel at home...and I miss it so much. Home is where your family and friends are... I miss running though metro with out my shoes on and saying hi to everyone who comes in or everyone I know. I miss dancing around, singing to myself. That is my home. I miss home. But God has called me to leave everything to come here. To be apart from what is confortable so I can be dangerously unconfortable for the cause of Christ. I want to live for God in a why that inspires others. God is so much closer than we think. I can't wait to know him more.

Lonesome

2009-02-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

A lot of times i feel out of place here. Like I just don't fit it. It's been hard because I feel like no one wants to really be friends with me. But I am often times reminded of Jesus and how He probably was a little lonely at times. He was separated from His Father. He has felt every emotion we have felt, He understands where we are coming from. That gives me hop can look to Jesus and find my peace in Him. He is my strength, my song, my joy, my peace and my refuge. I can find assurance in knowing that truth.

The Vision

2009-02-04T15:06:00.000-07:00

This is from Red Moon Rising.. the book we are reading, it's about 24-7 prayer

The Vision

So this guy comes up to me and says "what's the vision? What's the big idea?" I open my mouth and words come out like this…
The vision?

The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

The vision is an army of young people.

You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism.

They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
They wouldn't even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport.. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.
What is the vision ?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games.
This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers

choose to loose
that they might one day win
the great 'Well done' of faithful sons and daughters.

Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"

And this is the sound of the underground
The whisper of history in the making
Foundations shaking
Revolutionaries dreaming once again
Mystery is scheming in whispers
Conspiracy is breathing…
This is the sound of the underground

And the army is discipl(in)ed.

Young people who beat their bodies into submission.

Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their back boasts "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain".

Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them ?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them ?

And the generation prays

like a dying man
with groans beyond talking,
with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and
with great barrow loads of laughter!
Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365.

Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.

They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive

inside.

On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide.
Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair.

With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days,

they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.

Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.
Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.
Don't you hear them coming?
Herald the weirdo's! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.

And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.
How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from hero's of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.

Guaranteed.

My Life?

2009-02-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

I knew when I started DLA that I would draw nearer to God. That I would seek His face and His will for my life and I would grow in my understanding of Him. I don't think I truly was ready for what I was to encounter. Not just seeking Him..but Him seeking back. God is searching for us and seeking and pursing us just as much as we are to Him. He loves us and wants us to be in a relationship where we are fully surrendered to Him. This has been hard for me. I think I have always tried to surrender to Him, but really I have only given Him a fraction of what He deserves. But in the last few weeks, I've been going after Him like I've never done before, and in return I am finding Him like I've never found before.

My prayer is that this year I find Him, and seek Him and never go back.